Thursday, June 20, 2013

Messy Love and Hidden Moons

I don’t write much, or well in the summer-time. The beeches have bright green leaves that rustle softly, the days last forever and the nights are lonely - with an early setting moon and a wide expanse of lost little stars. I’m restless in the summer - not as I used to be, for long stretches of road and someplace different - now I’m restless for small things: toes in the stream, blackberry season, time to myself, and clothes that I can love every bit as much as I loved that blue batik wrap-skirt my room-mate in college gave me. I wore it to pieces and loved it with all my heart.

My sister and her husband are visiting. They are delightfully self-directed guests. They stayed late after dinner last night, discussion all the spoilers we’ve been avoiding in the Book Club. My sister and I pulled out a chair for a dream-Jenna to use, she would have loved the discussion - Laura’s unwillingness to say anything bad about anyone, my own surprising (to myself) defense of a certain important professor’s journey toward redemption, and lots of wine and laughter.

This morning I would like just to crawl out into the sunlight and bake until evening. I won’t because sunbathing, for me, is much like bathing itself. I long for it, prepare for it, and then, about 10 minutes in, I’m done..distracted by something else - on my way to find ‘the right book’ or pull up just that one weed.. I’m not patient, or focused, or whatever it takes to stay still and rest. I’m sure my skin is grateful..I don’t tan well anyway.

Last night, when they left, Seth and I stood watching the garden by torch-light - the moon had set behind the trees - and smiling at the shape our life is taking and enjoying the peace of night. I am enthusiastic about winter - the great retreat - with all the beautifying and tightening up we’re doing. I see our yurt looking and being warmer and cozier than ever: layered, insulated, floored up and full of proper-sized blankets. Stocked with summer flavors and strong against the storms. It is a good season, summer, good and full of growing things; and I’m too wrapped up in them to write.


  1. YES I would have loved that. So much!!! Wish I were there!! You and Laura hug each other for me. <3

    I have a hard time writing in summer, too. And should probably take advantage of the fact that it's dumping rain today.

  2. This is a lovely find on a summer's night :)