Thursday, April 21, 2011

"..the rain
is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
upon the glass and listen for reply."
~Edna St. Vincent Millay

Now that the weather has warmed it is a lovely evening walk to the outhouse. Seeing the birches stark white without their leaves against the darkness, watching the sunset and feeling the cool air dance around me makes the walk a time of meditation and immersion in the soft sounds of nature. But springtime has brought back the ghosts of the walk as well. Perhaps because it is no longer a bundled hurrying from one building to another - head down to fight the cold, but once again, swaying against the naked birches I see my three ghosts.

In my dreams, I've seen them scattered on the land - beneath our many birch groves. They guide me along and keep away the evils that always seem to hide in deep, wooded places. But my waking self has only ever met them on the evening walk to outhouse - by the birches that grow beside the window. They speak like angels: "fear not," and fade.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Jenna, at A Light Inside recommended me for a "versitile blog" award, which requires I write seven interesting things about myself and pass it on to fifteen other blogs. I don't know of fifteen other blogs, but I thought I'd post the interesting things anyway. I've never really been able to resist talking or writing about myself - any excuse is pure enjoyment.

1. Most interesting for my right now is the baby I'm carrying. After three years of marriage, my husband and I are expecting our first child and we are overcome with the blessing - and overwhelmed with "Things we'd like done before the baby comes". I'm grateful that I've remained much more physically capable than I expected to be at this stage of pregnancy, and I can't help but rejoice in my strength as I de-stump the garden, haul wood, and burn brush piles.

2. I live entirely off the gird, in a yurt, and apart from occasional cravings for a big, deep bathtub, I am entirely happy with it. We have huge plans for our land, and eventual "real house" but for the present, and the not-too-distant future, we have only modest desires: a driveway that can be driven on consistently, a garden, chickens, and a well.

3. I'm eagerly anticipating my post-pregnancy tattoo. Paritially because I love getting tattoos, and partially because I know our tattoo-artist will be thrilled to see the baby! He's an amazing man with land and five kids of his own.

4. I have a tendency to forget to be tackful when in discussion. I'm much better at writing kindly than I am at speaking without being dismissive.

5. I would much rather have my beautiful dishes smashed by careless users than use plastic dishes. Which, I suppose is why visiting children wander my house with handmade, pottery espresso mugs and why my own favorite mugs often end up lacking handles from trips in the car, or in my purse, to places that don't have nice dishes.

6. If I could change anything in my past, it would be my fashion sense in the first two years of college. In other words, I don't have a lot of regrets.

7. Cyganeria is a Polish word, meaning artistic bohemia. It applies a good deal to my life: Art being the pursuit of beauty, and bohemian meaning the unconvential life. I think it is Rilke, my favorite poet, who says "Be for one day unfashionable, and you will see how much eternity is in you." I am striving to see, each day, if I can't grow that bit of eternity, until it fills me completely.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Between our trip to Vegas last week to visit with family, and a visit from my oldest and dearest friend this past weekend, taxes, and the distracting beauty of spring, I've had no time for writing. I'm sorry for the delay in blogging - but not as sorry as I should be. I had such a wonderful time absorbing the desert beauty of Las Vegas, catching up with my sister, and people-watching on the strip last week. It's an overwhelming city, and though I can't imagine ever living there, I want to go back again to visit. Last weekend I spent more time talking and listening than I have in years. I haven't seen my friend in years, and we had so many stories to tell. Our lives have gone in such different directions after high-school: I'm now off the grid in Maine, while she is enjoying the sun in the south. It's wonderful to be reminded though that we are still the same people, and our friendship does not depend at all on nearness, or superficial agreement, but on something deeper and stronger that lasts. Now that life has returned to normal, I'll be drafting a few new posts to put up in the next few weeks. Blessings.