“Gregory [of Nyssa] said of Moses that ‘he entered the darkness and then saw God in it.” (Kathleen Norris). I’m thinking of Moses a lot these days. Moses who asks “only to see the beauty of God ‘not in mirrors and reflections, but face to face.’” I think about him as I watch the spring take shape around me; as my days are broken into easy rhythms that tempt me toward contentment. I reflect on the wanderer - the unfulfilled Moses for whom each “glimpse of the divine is always exactly enough, and never enough.”
May is a busy month. A month to spend outdoors in sunlight and awakening gardens. I have a hard time dividing my time - not because I don’t have enough of I, but because I have too much uncertainty - would this hour be best spent planting, cleaning, playing, writing..? I might being writing, end up playing, and then half way through notice something else entirely that requires attention. Before I know it, not only the hour, but the whole day is done.
I have five or six books going right now, two journals, and a lovely dream about flying over the Mediterranean Sea that I long to get back to..but instead I pick up yet another book, pour myself a huge glass of water and settle in to rest under the clouds. Perhaps tonight - in the Ascension Liturgy - I’ll find the balance I’m looking for.