Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Towards Understanding

"Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now."
    ~Rainer Maria Rilke

Our blog discussion has been hitting some road blocks recently. I realized in looking over it that a good deal of them may come from it being merely an online discussion, without an opportunity to delve into the people behind the ideas, the "whys" and "hows" that form our thoughts. So we are reflecting, at least for this week, and perhaps for a few more. Already I'm feeling more on my feet in the discussion, more aware of the people this discussion has put me in relationship with, and that is decidedly helpful.

Jenna begins with an explination of striving, in which she says that she doesn't "know what it is not to strive" and that explains a good deal to me. She describes herself as a perfectionist, I am anything but. The resignation I fight against is primarily my own. I pursue beauty, wholeheartedly and enthusiastically, but I also live in a world of tomorrows, and I have to remind myself daily that life is meant to  be lived at each moment. My natural tendency is toward anticipation, not action, and if I'm not careful I'm sure to "pass life, and [myself] by" (Rilke).

Perhaps this is part of the reason we have so many disagreements, we see ourselves and respond to our own tendencies: she is ever-needing to remind herself to accept and I am ever-needed to encourage myself to attempt. Where does Mr. Pond fall on this spectrum, I wonder.

But Jenna is right, for both of us, the healing aspect is grace - which takes me from undirected wanderings to the ability to create, from being "an endless seeker/ with no past at my back" (Emerson) to someone rooted in life and following a course that begins and ends in Joy. Grace is that without which no beauty is possible, and I am blessed to recognize it abundantly in my life.

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