"Our houses are such unwieldy property that we are often imprisoned rather than housed in them."

Henry David Thoreau

I am very excited about our upcoming move to the country. We are now in the process of shopping for a yurt to put on our property. The yurt will be our home for at least a few years, while we slowly build our dream home from straw-bales and timber. Yurts are lovely round, cozy tents developed for the nomads of mongolia. While we will not be living the nomadic life, the style of our new home soothes me, and gives me a connection to that way of living - which is my ideal.

Thankfully, our new land is big enough, and full of trees, so that I can wander daily on my property and not feel hemmed in. Our property is surrounded by the undeveloped property of others, and on only one border can we see a neighbors house. It is a piece of land where I can feel free.

"People seldom do what they believe in.
They do what is convenient, then repent."

Bob Dylan



I've been frustrated with the disconnection we have (I include myself) between what we believe and how we live. We believe in Truth, in Beauty, in Goodness, but we live for lesser things and no amount of arguing will convince us otherwise.

I am very good a repentance, and no good at all at living out my convictions. At least not for long periods of time. There is just something about a To Do list of good intentions that inspires me to curl up in bed and sleep the day away.

Thankfully, there is repentance. I'm grateful for a good Lent, and now that Easter has arrived, and brought along Springtime, I'm slowly putting my house in order. We are preparing to move, and so many things are being discarded, projects are being completed, and soon we will pack up all our worldly goods and be on our way to a place where the nights are quieter and Mondays don't smell like old trash.

Wesolego Alleluja!

"How does it become a man to behave towards this American government to-day? I answer that he cannot without disgrace be associated with it."
~Henry David Thoreau

Mine is not a political blog, others follow the mood-swings of Washington far better than I, but I do want to write a bit on the recent historic decision to force health care onto the American people. "Forcing health care" itself doesn't sound so very bad. Health care is very good when someone is sick, and the "issue of health care" has been harrassing the nation for a long while. But forcing health care on the citizens of the state is like forcing vegetables on an adult - you may have the best intentions, but you are making an ass out of yourself and insulting you guest, who is quite capable of seeing to his own diet. The state goes beyond this insult, by not only insisting on health-care, but also insisting that the people pay for the health-care they don't want.

I'm not incredible informed politically, but I know enough to see that Washington is taking all my decisions out of my own hands, and I resent the intrusion. Washington insists I have health-care, whether I choose to or not. It will decide how best to keep me healthy and it will pay for it with money taken from me. Is there no where I can hide from the greedy arm of the state?

Our nation has lost it's regard for the individual. Looking at man it sees only a crowd of ingnorance with no individual dignity. The state treats man as a greedy child to be cared for, directed, and punished; and man allows himself to be degraded until he can't remember how to stand on his own two feet.

"I please myself with imagining a State at last which can afford to be just to all men, and to treat the individual with respect as a neighbor; which even would not think it inconsistent with its own repose, if a few were to live aloof from it, not meddling with it, nor embraced by it, who fulfilled all the duties of neighbors and fellow-men. A State which bore this kind of fruit, and suffered it to drop off as fast as it ripened, would prepare the way for a still more perfect and glorious State, which also I have imagined, but not yet anywhere seen."
~Henry David Thoraeu

"Ready for godliness, O namesake of preparedness, thou didst inherit as a dwelling a faith worthy of thy name. O prize-winning Paraskeva, thou dost pour forth healing and art interceding for our souls."

~Troparion of St. Paraskeva, tone 1

Friday belongs to Paraskeva, whose name refers to that day - the day of Christ's death. She is a Lenten saint, one who reminds us to hold to the fast in preperation for the coming of the Lord.

In old Eastern Catholic tradition, she was the saint of women, and the home. It was said she blessed those who kept her day by fasting or by abstaining from common "women's work" such as spinning, sewing, and weaving. Those who did not honor her day were punish by the neglected "Mother Friday" with damaged eyes or swollen fingers, which kept them from working until they repented.

While I am not too concerned that she will come to afflict my recently perfected eyes, I do keep her day with fasting. I'm attracted to St. Paraskeva, the common women's saint, who aids in daily life and keeps us focused on the coming Christ. She is the saint who gives generously in little things, like my own busia, who would scrub the stove while visiting, or make a huge pot of soups just to have avaliable. She is decidedly female saint as well - Blessed Mary is the Mother of all, but Paraskeva belongs especially to the women, it is on them she lavishes her attention.

Tomorrow her day falls on the Feast of St. Joseph, whom I love, and I will have to balance the fasting and the feasting. There is an evening liturgy though, which we will attend, and until the end of the Liturgy, I will keep Paraskeva's fast; afterwards, we will celebrate St. Joseph, who I'm sure won't mind a late supper in his honor.

"The Lenten spring has come. The flower of repentance begins to open."
~the Tridion

The Lenten spring certainly has come - at least for the week! It is warm and windy this morning, the air feels like late April and the heavy clouds promise spring rain. Tomorrow, we have been warned, may give us a foot of snow, but today is springtime.

I have been reading through the Byzantine prayerbook and enjoying the Church's obvious enjoyment of the Lenten season. We are constantly reminded that Lent is a time of "joyful sadness" and "bright mourning." Throughout Lent we "fast with joy" with the knowledge that Easter is on it's way, Christ will rise again to save us from our sins. It has been an encouragement to me in these middle weeks of Lent, when the novelty of the fast has passed and only the difficulty remains. It also helps me decide on how to observe celebrations within the season.

Yesterday, my husband and I celebrated his brithday, which took some creativity on our part to keep within the fast, without loosing the "party" spirit. We managed well, I think. I bought purple tulips to decorate the tables and altars, fresh fruit and champagne (fortunately his birthday fell on a day which allowed wine), gifts, cards, and - after careful search of menus - out to dinner. We have our anniversary to celebrate this Lent as well, which will be difficult to plan: it falls on a Monday, a day we can have neither oil nor wine; but we are looking forward to the challenge.

The second Sunday of Lent. At this point I'm begining to waver in my resolve - it happens every year. The excesses of Carnival have been forgotten and I'm starting to think longingly of Easter feasting. The next week and a half are ideal times for me to plan my Easter meal, if I wait too much longer, I'm completely in Lenten mode, and my Easter planning begins to look decidely penitential - not exactly festive.

I love this time of Lent, because it is such a challenge. The scents of meats and cheeses are so much stronger, and I begin to appreciate aromas in a way that is impossible during the year. The scent of heaven in these weeks is meatier than it ought to be.

These days are ideal for projects which otherwise might be interupted by meals - throwing, sewing, writing, and of course, deep cleaning. During Lent, my writing and reading take a serious turn and I try to infuse my reading and writing time with ritual and beauty. Tea is essential, partially because it is warm, soothing, and has lovely steam rising from the cup, and partially because it is the only thing I can consume on every day of Lent. With my cup in hand, my icon around me, a good pen, a good book, and good music, I feel almost sensually indulgent - even fasting.

"I believe in nights."

~Rainer Maria Rilke

For some reason, I love roaming the house while my husband is sleeping. I like the dark quiet around me, I like sipping tea and reading, or writing. I like cleaning best of all. When I clean at night, I know it will last til morning. I know the empty sink will greet me and the swept floors will welcome my feet. I know the spider living up under the cupboards will welcome the fresh Verbena scent and weave it into her late-night web. The spider only comes down from her tucked-away home at night. She's delicate and lovely. She weaves her webs while I clean, and I am alway careful of her work. A single spider seems to belong in the kitchen - many spiders in the kitchen is problematic - but one spider, essential.

This night I am getting my week in order. Tomorrow is the last day of Carnival, and I have to prepare for Lent. I am making peirogi to store, cutting fabric to cover our statues and images. I am changing the sheets and the tablecloth to purple as well, baking bread, and starting krupnik so that it will be ready for Easter.

In the stores, Easter candy has just replaced Valentine's chocolates. It never ceases to amaze me at how quickly we switch from one holiday to another - with no interest at all in the times between celebrations. How can we truly rejoice at Easter if we skip over the darkness and denial of Lent? Lent for me is a time of reflection and cleansing of body, mind, and soul. I enjoy throwing myself into the fasting. I enjoy the time of reflection, and of course, I enjoy decorating, and dressing for Lent. But enjoyment is only a part of it; through my reflection and cleansing, through fasting, prayer, and even through the Lenten theme in my home and clothing, I come out of Lent renewed, refreshed, and closer to my Lord. The season that prepares me to live out the Easter season well and joyfully.