"What fields are fragrant as your hands?
You feel how external fragrance stands
upon your stronger resistance.
Stars stand in images above.
Give me your mouth to soften love;
ah, your hair is all in idleness."

~Rainer Maria Rilke

St. Valentine's Day is on its way! This year it is on Sunday, and outside of Lent, so we want to enjoy it fully. I am still without a gift for my beloved, but I am close to done choosing what to do for him, which is most of the struggle.

We have been missing out on the storms that have buried our neighbors to the south. I miss the snow, this not-quite springtime thaw is warm and bright, but it has none of the cozy winter feeling I like so much, and over all my enjoyment of the warmth is the constant threat of bitter cold coming again. It is only February after all.

"Love's most intimate union
is through eating, tasting, and seeing interiorly"
~Hadewijch

Today is an absolutely lovely day. The sun is shining down and warming the whole world - at least, it feels that way. I am walking about with no coat on - only a sweater - and no hat. The sun comes in the windows of this little cafe I'm in and warms the table. I love the sun! This false February spring should have me longing for summer days and dreading the cold I know is coming, but I can't think beyond the warmth of today, I can't really think at all with this lovely light on my back.

I bought beautiful black boots today, thanks to my dear Matka, they are ideal. I did very little else but walk in the sun and smile, order glazes, and discuss with aquaintences whether or not eating ought to be seen as a spiritual act. It is, of course. Our Pope reminds us in "God with Us" that all our meals are "alive with the goodness of God;" that all meals point toward the supreme Meal, the Eucharist. That we are more than simply bodies in possession of souls, we are creatures of both worlds, and our spiritual life must exist in the physical aspects of day to day life, if it is to exist at all.

As Lent comes closer, I am thinking more and more on the relationship between our food and our spirituality. I always look forward to Lent, and each year I hope for the best possible Fast and preperation. We still have a couple weeks before it begins, I have no intention of "jumping the gun" but I do enjoy planning for the Fast. The Church does as well; this past Sunday, and the coming Sundays are for the purpose of preparation: Septuagesima, Sextuagesima, Quinquagesima Sundays ease us into the Lenten season. They remind me that now is the time for purple skirts and scarves at Mass, and now is the time to find purple and black fabric to drap over my statues. Now is the time to begin planning my fast.

Book List:
I'm reading Holy Feast and Holy Fast again, somewhat in preperation for Lent, there are so many beautiful bits of writing from Saints and mystics collected in that book! I'm also re-reading Rainer Maria Rilke in abundance. His poems never get old or dull for me. At Christmas I was given the book Dakota, by Kathleen Norris. I finished it on the plane home and have been returning to it often as well. Kathleen Norris "gets" the Catholic imagination in a way that has been lost to too many actual Catholics, I love her writing, her sense of beauty, and sense of the sacred, her love of the natural world and her respect and love for the cloister.

I'm not reading anything new at the moment, any recommendations?

"Longings don't want to be quenched
with a drink from some dull, mundane glass;
they want to be your objects portrait
and your desire's equipose-"
~Rilke

Our snow has melted - for the most part - in the recent rain. The whole world is soggy and grey. But in my little home, flowers are in bloom on the table, the walls are warm with books and colors, the Icons are keeping watch from their homes. I love the in-between days, when Christmas has gone and Lent is still on it's way.

I have been reading more in these days, and my reading has been so varied - the very good and the very bad, and the mediocre. I am bringing Feast of Faith to adoration to read with Christ, and enjoying it anew. So much of what I read there makes me love our pope even more, especially his dedication to beauty:

"The Church is to transform, improve, "humanize" the world - but how can she do that
if at the same time she turns her back on beauty, which is so closely allied to love?"

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I've also read Wild at Heart. Which is awful, not only because of the writing style but also because of the silly man's ideas of God and man. My husband and I read much of this book aloud, laughing at the author's desperate attempts to project his own insecurities on all men, and even on God Himself, who is apparently, "a person who takes immense risks."

Now I am going to light incense for my saints, put handles on my mugs, and set some bread to rise...or maybe make muffins.

"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawm before the rest of the world."

Oscar Wilde

I feel as though I'm waking up. This past Christmas has overflowed into the common season in work and celebrations, snowstorms, and other distractions. I've fallen into the distractions, none of my time has been my own, except late at night - dreaming vividly.

But the days are slowing down now, all lives are falling back into their pattern and I am able too look around again and really see my neglected books, and pots, and floors, and writing.

Today I am lightly cleaning my home, making it pleasant, warm, and welcoming. Afterwards, I am creating my ritual in my days again. One that prepares for Lent in both the celebratory and the self-disciplinary way. It is still January - still the month of resolutions and new beginings. I am begining this new year awake and alive.

"Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess."
~Oscar Wilde

We are starting the year out in a good direction: excessive enthusiasm.

I love the planning of things and the arranging of things, and this month we are planning and arranging to my hearts content. My primary focus this month will be cleansing; cleansing my home and my body, as well as the cleansing and arranging of our budget and my wardrobe. Cleansing is best done as a whole - because then life is not broken up, it is holistic, harmonious.

We began work on the house as soon as we returned from visiting my rodzina for Christmas. Christmas itself always encourages me to clean out the old things I've accumulated to make way for the new, and to greet the new season. We took boxes to Goodwill and boxes to the curb, we feel freer now, with less to tie us down.

Blessed Christmas!

"There is neither heaven nor earth, only snow falling incessantly."

We have been enjoying snow for at least three days, and expect to be enjoying more for at least another two days. It is ideal for midnight walks, sipping tea by the window, and lazy mornings in bed. It is an ideal excuse to stay home.
I love watching the snow cover over all the ugly city streets, with their mud and trash, and disappointed people. It feels like this new year has begun with fresh hope - making all things new and beautiful.
I like to walk in our neighborhood again, the people who were so cold are friendly now, they're laughing at the snow, and with me as I stumble along through the drifts.